It is late and I just now took these photos...and I refuse to use a flash....and...I stayed up REALLY LATE last night, so I am already super tired. But...I am super duper proud of myself so I am gonna come right here and document it........I was SUPPOSED TO BE up cleaning up my studio last night...because it is THE BIGGEST MESS EVER....but, instead....I got distracted and made a paper crown...on top of the mess....
don't you dare tell me that making a paper crown is not important....because it is....really important...it's important because of what it represents in my life...which, I am not sure exactly WHAT that is quite yet...but...making that crown at midnight last night was wonderfully wonderful.....this is it...
My 17 year old son asked me what I was the queen of when he saw me wearing it today after school......and I said...I am the queen of my brave brave life.....and he rolled his eyes and went into some long discussion about how I could not have my own government if I was the only one in it...that it would be more like an anarchy...but that a queen ruling an anarchy is a complete oxymoron....and I just twirled around in my office chair and let my cape breeze in the wind. I was deliriously tired, you see.....but, still...I am glad I stayed up all night to make this crown and not clean my studio.....
I DID, however...have to eventually get to it today...and I JUST FINISHED a few minutes ago........I LOVE WHAT HAPPENS when I clean...I find things....usually they are little things that seem like notes that I leave for myself that I might need later....but, I have no idea when I wrote it or why. I found a crunched up piece of tissue paper that had paint all over it...and I ALMOST THREW IT AWAY...then I read it...and I loved it...and here's what it says: "what if I could fly? what if there was peace everywhere? what if all dreams came true? what if no one was ever afraid of failing? what if all intentions were good? what if people put people first? what if everyone started over, every day, and let each other do the same? what if love was the only rule?
if you could do anything, if there were no limits, no barriers, no excuses, what would you do? why don't you start today? why don't you just take one little step toward your dream?...one little step will add up to 2, then after a week it will be 7 steps, then 30, then 50, then 100, and then how close you will be to where you really want to go"
Hello....Melody? Uh...THE Melody who wrote that...where are you now? OH! You are still here, right here...ok...just checking...let's get to it, then, shall we?
So I just finished cleaning my studio...here it is now. This is the place where big things are going to happen, my friends...where magical happiness and the spilling of my heart will take place, finally...I can feel it...perhaps it is the sleep deprivation...but, I can feel it. My art is coming back..... OK...you REALLY organized, super neat freak people that I so admire and envy will probably not consider this THAT CLEAN...but...let me tell you...it's ten thousand miles cleaner than it was when I started this morning...and it's organized....and...it DID take me ALL DAY because I get distracted REALLY EASY and I stopped to play with all sorts of things along the way.....and I kept FINDING THINGS that I thought were lost........like....my dreams...my heart........and stuff like that.
SO...I am 37
this is the new painting I have started to explain how I feel at this point in my life.........everything that I need fits in these bags...and.....there's an open road ahead...I have no idea where it leads to...but...I am not lookin' back....I am gonna keep on it. I am on the right track...the right trail...the right road.
I love being alive.
I love being an artist.
I love creme brulee (did I tell you chelsea and luke made some from SCRATCH and brought it over to my house to flame it on my birthday...and we ate it FIRST, before dinner...we ate it all fresh and delicious...............I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!)