August 30th, 2006
Deserving Happiness???…what the…???
Do You Deserve To Be Happy?
What the heck kind of question is that??????? Where do we learn this stuff? Wherever we picked it up,,.it is time to unlearn it…we need to remember the way we felt when we were kids…or more like, the ways we didn’t feel…the things we never even considered…like whether or not we were ‘worthy’ or ‘good enough’…we just were who we were, who we were perfectly created to be….and we were happy to be here and happy about being happy….
I remember just dancing through life until I was about 11….and then something happened somehow in my brain that overtook what my soul always knew….I started thinking you had to ‘deserve’ or ‘earn’…and it’s taken years to recover from it….I’m still trying…remember my poem “I MADE YOU” ….that poem came from my starting to understand the nature of God’s unconditional love, acceptance and care for us individually….He made us!
I was browsing on the internet last night and found a poll that knocked my socks off and left me with my jaw dropped, made me want to grab every woman I know, gently put my hands on her face and say…”is this really how you feel?” …then hug her and remind her of the truth of things…..what happens when we are adults that makes us forget that we are absolutely right just the way we are????
…it was on Oprah.com and was entitled “Are You Happy With Yourself?” …of the 60,000ish people who responded, here were the results…
Are you happy with yourself?
Number of responses: 62643
In what area do you feel you've failed yourself the most?
Romantic relationships 17.3%
Personal goals/dreams 57.4%
Number of responses: 50791
When you look in the mirror every day, how do you feel?
Out of control 18.4%
Number of responses: 56485
Is how much you dislike yourself a secret you keep from other people in your life?
Number of responses: 54746
How do you escape reality?
Use drugs/alcohol 5.9%
Gossip about other people 2.5%
Have sex 1.2%
Isolate yourself 29.7%
Number of responses: 54806
I feel worthy and good enough
Some of the time 39.7%
Most of the time 27.3%
Almost never 27.5%
Number of responses: 56262
Seriously, gals…..how did this happen?
What I know deep down in my knowingest heart and brain space is that we can’t get to the places that we want most…in the relationships we want most unless we know the truth about how wonderful we are….unless we know and remember that there’s no such thing as being ‘worthy’ of love or happiness…God’s real intent for us is joy joy joy, really…we are loved and wonderful and just right, just by being God’s children…we can always improve and we can always work a little harder, but we are loved and cherished TODAY…and we will be tomorrow…and we’ll always be enough…no matter what. I really believe that and I hope you do, too. I hope you do because there’s others who need you to remind them of the truth…your daughters and your friends and even the women you admire…
But…believe me when I tell you that sometimes I listen to the mean, dark, taunting words that silently come from everywhere but Heaven…you know…the ones that say “you will never be good enough” or “you don’t deserve those things or those people…” …and, for some reason, those yucky words are sometimes more believable that the truth…what would the truth say? WHAT DOES THE TRUTH SAY? It says “there’s enough happiness and joy out there for everyone, more than enough…go out and absorb it…breathe it in and breathe it out and there will still be more there when you breathe it in again…” and “you don’t have to earn happiness, it’s what is intended for you…” and “…you are more than enough, you are magnificent!”
I love this picture because it is the picture of JOY…I look at it when I want to remember the kind of JOY that God really wants for all of us…He really really does.
Imagine the newly talking 2 or 3 year old little girl in your life…maybe it’s your daughter or your cousin or your granddaughter…imagine her coming to you and asking…”what will it take for me to be good enough to earn happiness, and earn your unconditional love?”
Ridiculous! We are that same pure and wonderful little girl that we were when we could just form words…what if we REALLY went to God and asked that question? What do you think He would say? Would He say…”come back when you have a degree from Harvard and 14% bodyfat and check to see if I love you then, if you’ve earned your happiness and self-acceptance…” yeh, right. Why do we let ourselves believe those kinds of deceptions?
I think we ALL know that He would say…”I have always loved you and I always will…I love you when you make mistakes, and I’m here to help you correct them…I love you when you fall down, and I’m here to help you back up…I love you when you achieve your goals, but I loved you anyway…I love you no matter what…you are JUST RIGHT, just the way you are…I know that because I made you that way…”
That’s the truth.
Hope you guys are doing great and I hope especially that you are not in the kind of pain that it looks like 75% of the population is in…living with not being happy with yourself. My challenge is that you go and ask the Guy who made you if you are ‘enough’…you’ll get an answer loud and clear…..you are wonderful and the best thing you can do for the people that you love and who love you is for you to accept the truth…that you are wonderful and you ‘deserve’ all the happiness in the world….
Lots of Love